


Kurokosexual

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Kurokosexual, M/M, Sexual Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 03:36:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/486212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kise starts the topic. Aomine and Midorima get angry. Murasakibara eats snacks. Akashi is amused. Kuroko is a bit embarassed. Ridiculous pairings applied.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kurokosexual

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a pure crack fic from an idea in my mind that needs to be released.

 

"I am a Kurokocchisexual!"

Kise declares out of blue. In a hot day of summer, when the Generation of Miracles just made their way outside a convenience store after treating themselves some popsicles.

"What about you, guys?" he asked, only to have five pairs of bored eyes looking at him like he's some runaway mental asylum patient walking on the side road.

"What the heck are you saying?" Aomine groans.

"Well, I'm just asking you guys' sexual orientation," Kise explains.

"What kind of shitty topic is this?" Aomine's facepalming.

"Kise-chin's brain seems to be damaged or something," says Murasakibara as he chomps on his strawberry popsicle.

"You guys aren't fuuunn~" Kise protests.

"Wait, you just said that you are—" Midorima speaks up, but coughs in the middle. "—Kurokoseksual. So, you're declaring yourself as a homo?"

"Ye—Wait… What? Noooo~" Kise shakes his head. "I'm no homo. I am a Kurokocchisexual! No one and nothing can turns me on except Kurokocchi~ and I love Kurokocchi only!"

"I see…" Murasakibara nods.

"What the fuck?" veins pop up on Aomine's head. Then he turns his head to Kuroko, which is walking right behind them. "Oi, Tetsu! Why don't you kick this idiot? Or you want me to do it?"

"Aominecchi, so cruel~"

"Be my guest, Aomine-kun," Kuroko simply says as he licks his vanilla popsicle. Walking beside him, there's Akashi, being very quiet since the beginning. Observing the others with Kuroko. But he seems to be very amused when he sees Aomine kicks Kise's ribs.

"Stop bullying me!" Kise cries while he tries to block Aomine's kick.

"There… there… Ryouta," Akashi says, he pats the boy's back. Every pat sends jolts of fear.

"Ugh… thanks," Kise mutters, he's crying a river.

"Well, if that's Ryouta's sexuality, then I'll be a Tetsuyasexual too," he smiles. His statement makes Kuroko walks faster, leaving him behind.

"What? No way! Akashicchi is the rival?" Kise's eyes wide, looking at Akashi with that expression of shock.

Akashi replies nothing, he's just smiling all the time while looking at Kise. And then he turns to Aomine. Aomine immediately changes the direction of his eyes. "How about you, Daiki?"

Seconds of silence, but Aomine replies, "I love boobs."

"What kind of answer is that, Aominecchi? You must add '-sexual' behind it! "

"Shut up, Kise!"

Akashi turns his gaze toward Murasakibara.

"Oh, me? Me… I guess, I'm a snacksexual," Murasakibara says, the popsicle in his hand is not the strawberry one anymore.

Everyone's deadpanned.

And then Murasakibara continues, "And it seems like Mido-chin is an Oha-Asa-sexual."

"Don't decide it by yourself!" Midorima shouts. He fixes his glasses' position. "I'm not turned on by Oha-Asa and I'm a normal guy!"

"Says the guy who's not normal at all," Aomine speaks.

"You don't say, Aominecchi!"

Akashi looks at Kuroko's back. The only one who hasn't answered yet is him. "Tetsuya…"

The smallest boy doesn't answer, the one who answers that question is Aomine, "No doubt. He's a basketballsexual."

Midorima sighs.

"What? No! I believe that Kurokocchi is me-sexual! Kisesexual!"

"What the heck is that?" anger overflows Aomine. And then, the two of them start bickering again.

"This is public," says Murasakibara who senses the gazes of people around them. Not that he cares about it.

Akashi only smiles, still looking on Kuroko's back. He can see that the boy's ears are red.

"Aaah~ No fuuuun~ My rival is Akashicchi, that's too unfortunate!" Kise whispers to himself. "Everybody should be Kurokocchisexual, you know! He's cute and cuddly and all… Right, Kurokocchi?" He jumps toward Kuroko, hugs him tightly, kisses his head, and chomps on his soft hair.

"No!" Aomine and Midorima shout at the same time.

"Please, stop, Kise-kun! You're suffocating me! And don't eat my hair!" Kuroko tries to escape from the deadly hug.

"Well, actually…" Akashi trails off, he seems to be thinking something… while looking at Aomine knowingly.

"What?" Aomine asks, his eyebrows are knitted together, and sweating.

"Forget it," he smiles again, making Aomine shivers and walks faster, catching up with Kise and Kuroko.

Aomine knows.

Aomine knows that Akashi knows that he is actually a Kurokosexual too.

Aomine knows that Akashi knows that everybody is Kurokosexual.

* * *

**End.**


End file.
